So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
her vagine was all disorganized.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
