I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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