u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
