Are we in a gay sports bar?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
