Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
