He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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