I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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