i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
And then he peed in my hair
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