i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
