I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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