i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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