Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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