matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
