it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There r osticjed everywhere
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
