Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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