the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
