I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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