he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
