Non-Jews are for practice
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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