Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
