You really coming over, don't trick.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
