last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
