i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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