My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
