i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
