I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize