Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
