I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
