sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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