I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
