i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize