I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
