Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
