i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
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Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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