my soul wont recognize me after tonight
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
