now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
