Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
