he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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