Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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