so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
