You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
