Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.