video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue