Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her