laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
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You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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