what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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