shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
