I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
