He uses pillows to masturbate.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I believe in your delicious
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
