so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
