I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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