my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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