sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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