I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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