I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
