I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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