didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
