absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
