it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
