smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
A+ Viking dick
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
