2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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